Alice, ADHD, & Adulting

Saturday, 15 April 2017

Alice in Wonderland is one of my all-time favourite books. I love the story with its quirkiness and colourful characters—the Cheshire Cat has always held a special place in my heart, but there is more to it than that. I envy Alice, and not the eating and drinking everything in sight bit that has been spotted on a meme floating around Facebook. I tend to eat and drink everything in my path anyway. That’s why going to the gym hasn’t been as effective as I had hoped.

I envy Alice’s ability to get away. You see, I, too, long for an escape. I’d give just about anything to fall down a rabbit hole and get away from the ‘real world’. I am struggling at the moment. I am desperate to write, but I can’t seem to find the words. There is too much noise around me right now. I can’t escape to the nonsense where I find peace.

I feel a need to create, so I will be starting some Alice in Wonderland bits for Once Upon a Time Gifts soon, but the fact remains that I need to finish my story to send in to the NWS. I have a story that I am working on. Recently, I sent a chapter to a dear friend and she was very complimentary, making me think that I am on the right track.

The problem is that I can’t figure out how to stay on the damn track. For the first time I can remember, I cannot fight my ADHD. Having ADHD means being distracted by everything—every sight, every sound, everything. Up until now, I have been able to block out the distractions, to filter things down and hold on to just what is important. 

Right about now, work, family, life in general, really, has been more demanding than ever. The past few months have been overwhelming at best and somewhere in the three-ring circus that became my life, I misplaced my filter. I am unable to block out distractions right now and find myself quickly in sensory overload. 

Probably the hardest thing about all of this is trying to still carry on with everything—work, being a grown-up… I sway between two reactions to the overload, no, not flight or fight, more like nap or no. I either find myself too overwhelmed or too tired to even start tasks. But carry on, I must.

I have finished the rough draft of over half of my NWS WIP and the first quarter of it is in a second draft state. Tonight, I am sitting down to start moving the second quarter to a second draft. Technically, I know I should have rough drafted the whole thing and then gone back to edit, but the project has taken a major turn, so I need to go back and fill in some holes to find the road forward. I am considering sharing a scene of it here…

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