Monday, 29 December 2014
I have been away. Not physically, maybe mentally. I just haven’t had the time or energy to post. I will try harder next year.
Next year, I will be 40 and I can honestly say that I have made very few of my ‘dreams’ come true in the last 39 years. Now, don’t worry. This isn’t going to be one of those sad, whiny, ‘look what I don’t have’ type of posts. On the contrary, this is a look at what I do have… and maybe a look at what I need to let go of.
I have a husband who I love very much. We don’t always see eye to eye, but he will always be my best friend. I have two beautiful children. They are my greatest accomplishment. Sure, they drive me bonkers most of the time, but when I think back to being told I’d never have children, his hyperactivity and her bossiness make me smile.
This year, I finally landed my dream job. In fact, I start it January 5th. I came to this country the manager of a cytology lab and was immediately bumped back to the lowest rung of my career—a lab assistant-- and I have worked my tail off to climb higher than I have ever been before. I have a gorgeous home, which is big enough to offer me a beautiful ocean-themed home office. I have a great, reliable little car that is the most beautiful color of blue and has a mermaid sticker on the back.
And I have new dreams.
I might not have accomplished everything I thought I would, or wanted to by now, but as I look back at what I have accomplished, many of the dreams of my early thirties seem unimportant. I guess your dreams shift as your reality does. Sadly, some of my hobbies—which used to be my world—are fading for me. I am moving to a time in my life where I long for quiet simplicity.
This year I am going to be more selfish. That’s right, I said it. I am going to demand time to myself and I am going to do the things that I want to do and be quick to say no to the things that don’t move me forward in my goals. Because I still have goals—lots of them—and I still plan to work toward my dreams, my new dreams that is.
I’ve learned a lot this year. I was hurt by someone I cared, maybe too much, for and I have put a lot of time and energy into something that brings me little joy. I’ve made other mistakes, too. I sort of excel at it. But most importantly, I have wasted time which could have been better spent. I think it’s time to pay attention to the people and things that do bring me joy. And that includes myself.
My new job means I will be much more in the spotlight (even though that is not something I want), so along with the new knowledge I am working hard to gain, I am also looking to revamp my image. I have started a new wardrobe better suited to my new position, I get regular haircuts (don’t laugh, this is the first time in my adult life I can claim that), and my new hours mean I will finally have time to run again.
I would love to sit down and say that I have New Year’s resolutions I plan on sticking to, but let’s be honest, when do I ever stick to resolutions? I mean, do you?
Last year I chose 4 areas of my life to focus on and that seemed to work somewhat. I did really well with 2 of them—Family and Finance (although Finance was shot to hell by Christmas…). The other 2—Fitness and Fiction--- seemed to get left behind.
This year I am going to keep the same focuses, I think, but with more emphasis on Fitness and Fiction. I am hoping that my new job will automatically make it easier to sort out my finances (it’s quite a hefty pay rise) and being able to run regularly will help me keep my family happy. Never underestimate the power of a happy mommy.
So, that’s it for me. I have referred to 2014 as ‘The Year of Lessons Learned’, but it hasn’t all been bad. Far from it. I have made more than a few memories and I hope this time next year I will look back on my year and have even more to smile about.
What about you? Have you learned anything in particular or made any promises for 2015? I’d love to hear about them.