Trading Capability For Kids

Monday, 12 May 2014

Honestly, I am not going to whine (I would like to wine, but there is still too much work to do), but seriously this was about the crappiest Monday ever. Forgive me if I bitch for a moment. I promise, there is a valid point.

DH claims to be dying from some strange disease. Of course, he won't go to the doctor's. I would have been quick to claim Man Flu, but every time he moves he cries out in pain, so I think it is more than that (yes, I do keep begging him to go to the doctor's). This resulted in me being up most of last night. At 0300 I decided I couldn't take it anymore and went to sleep on the bottom bunk in the little man's room. I had to be up at 0600.

Add to my 3 hours of sleep one presentation (which I don't actually remember doing, but I am sure I would have been told off if I hadn't), one very important/difficult task, one co-worker who made it clear she doesn't want to work with me... Well, let's just say it was lucky I was crying by 0930 and not swinging heavy objects.

Today, it was implied that I'm not capable to do the job I was given (and have worked my ass off at for 5 years-- I TRAINED HER!) because I have kids. She is angry because I work a day and a half from home because I struggle with the costs of childcare.

Have I mentioned that she works from home one day a week because she has a puppy? Doggy daycare is expensive, as it turns out.

I won't lie; she has hurt my feelings more than once since I came off maternity leave, but she isn't even the issue here. Well, not totally. There is a lot of resentment in my office based on the fact that I work flexibly. It would seem that I have it 'easy'. Here is a run down of my typical day:

0600-0700     Get up, shower, get dressed, make breakfast (to take, no time to eat) & lunch, answer emails
0700-0730     Get son up and dressed, set him down with a bowl of cereal
0730-0740     Pack car with my work bags, son's school bag' daughter's nursery bag, etc.
0740-0755     Get daughter up, dressed, and ready to leave
0755-0820     Leave (if I am one minute past 0800 we WILL be late), drive to nursery & drop off daughter
0820-0840     Drive to school and drop off son
0840-0930     Drive to work (yes, I get up at 0600 and finally sit down at my desk at 0930)
0930-1600     Work
1600-1630     Drive to pick up son from after school care
1630-1700     Drive to nursery to pick up daughter
1700-1730     Drive home
1730-1900     Cook dinner, feed kids, bathe kids, get daughter to bed (DH gets home around 1900)
1900-2000     Do homework, get son to bed
2000-2200     Finish hours from day job to make up full day
2200-2300     Write articles for 2nd job which pays childcare so I can go to 1st job

I usually pass out sometime after I finish writing. This also explains why I struggle to work on my WIPs. That whole 'if you want to write, you will make time' would only apply if I was actually able to make, as in manifest, time. Of course, by 2300 I can barely spell my name, so...

That's my typical day. Easy, isn't it? I have tried to explain this to my coworkers, but none of them have kids. They go in at 0900 and finish at 1700. They also live within 20 minutes of the office and can eat Ben & Jerry's for dinner if they want.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for all of the Chunky Monkey in the world. I just wish people who don't have kids would be a little more understanding of those of us who do. Working flexibly doesn't always equal a better schedule. And it certainly doesn't equal an easier one. I am fantastic at what I do-- otherwise I would give up my specialty and find a job closer to home-- yet I am seen as not capable because 'you have kids, you can't be here every day'.

Anyone else suddenly lose their capability when they became a mom?

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