I'm back.

Monday, 15 July 2013

Where have I been? Well, hell comes to mind...

At Easter we moved out of a house which, as it turns out had been poisoning us for at least a year (gas leak, no wonder we spent so much time ill and in hospital in the winter). That was obviously a good thing, even though it was rather stressful. So we have a new house which we love, but it wasn't the only move I made recently.

After a ridiculously successful enrollment event for my cheerleading program, we continued to sign up new kids week after week until we outgrew our 640 square feet (because we trained 60 kids at a time during the hour-long overlap of two teams-- it was chaos!) and we moved into our own 3,921 square foot gym. It is amazing, but continues to stress me out daily. So my volunteer gig has become a full-blown business, unfortunately, the costs of the gym mean it is still volunteer for now.

So, I'm still at the hospital, and I do love it, but the travel and extra work at home with the kids is really starting to wear me down. In spite of my best efforts, I still haven't been able to claim much more time with my kids. I'm not giving up, though. I have a plan to cut my coaching hours in half on Sundays starting next month, so that's a start. In the meantime, I am going to sacrifice whatever I have to to spend more time with Hunter and Scarlett after school.

And my school? I am pleased to say that I have finally finished my degree-- I'm nowhere near finished paying for it, but at least I have no more essays to write. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that I passed my last course, okay?

As far as writing is concerned, I'm barely doing any. I write maybe one article every week or two and the most I've done on fiction lately is a 100 word blurb for a competition that is coming up soon. I have noticed it. The feeling of not being complete that I get when I don't have time to write. I feel it every day. If fact, as much as I love cheerleading and the gym, I'd give it all up tomorrow if I could just move home to the beach and write in my spare time. You see, if I gave it all up, I would have spare time. Maybe, eventually, writing could become my full-time gig!

 So, it is safe to say that the plan I so painstakingly detailed in my last post didn't really come to be. Of course, it was a 10-step plan. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking?

It's time for a new plan. From here on out I am going to take things one day at a time. I need more time for the kids and myself. I still feel lost and that's probably because I am still trying my hardest to keep a million balls in the air at once. So it's time to drop a few.

I need to be more realistic about setting goals for myself. For example, I need to make small, gradual changes-- not give myself a list of 10 things to try to accomplish. I'm going to start by trying to get more sleep. This may be the hardest goal to achieve since my sleep is constantly interrupted by Scarlett in the night.

 Once I start to wake up more rested, I am going to slowly inch my alarm earlier and earlier. I need to go back to doing morning yoga. Eventually, I want to squeeze an hour's worth of writing into my morning, before the kids wake up. But that's going to take a while. So here I go again. I have to at least try, you know.

Now... it's almost my bedtime. Night all!

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